Although often confused, chastity is not abstinence. And one can, and even must, be chaste in marriage as in consecrated life. Chastity is a gift from God, like everything that makes us stand up, like anything that allows us to love more. Chastity is one of the names of love, with respect, compassion, the gift of self all these names, put together, enlighten each other and talk about love: this term refers to so many different realities, who, nevertheless, are one and the same!
More precisely, chastity is the dimension of respect in love that allows not being in a relationship of possession. It concerns the relation to the body, the sexuality, but also the relations to others. To be chaste is to find the right distance and therefore the good proximity; it is to welcome the other as he is. You can experience it for yourself by buying a great material like silicone male chastity device at https://lockthecock.com/collections/silicone-male-chastity-devices.
A body made to love
Chastity can be observed in marriage, in consecrated celibacy but also in young people who have not yet begun their existence. Those also are called to live chastity. But you must not confuse chastity, continence or abstinence. Chastity in a married couple is not to refuse one another, or to delay the meeting of bodies (abstinence, desirable at times). Married people feel that to be chaste is to order the sexual relationship to the love they have for each other. They tell us that the meeting of bodies is something beautiful, great: it is one of the most beautiful things that a man and a woman can live. From this enjoyment are born the joy, the sweetness that are blessed by God, and the Exercise of sexuality allows the expression of love and unification of the person, in a gift of oneself to another forever. But this exercise of sexuality could also destroy, through non-chaste relations, in the enslavement of the other to his own desire.
But it is not only in the sexual relation that the body gives itself, because to love is always, ultimately, to give one’s body. This gift takes on different forms. He is present in the friendship. Not of course in the form of the exercise of sexuality, but in gestures of affection and chaste tenderness, in which there is no place for eroticism. The vibration of the body, the presence of the other, his look, his way of living in his body, affects any meeting.
The body is also engaged in the choice of celibacy or religious life. You need to know a woman sexually. If you do not have a companion and committed to living chastely and in continence you gave your body to Christ and to the Church, which is the body of Christ, with what it can be crucifying at certain times. In fact, if you gave up conjugality, it was to live fraternity in mission and the proclamation of the Gospel. This does not mean that those who live in conjugality do not live in fraternity but will live it differently than single people. The great experience of the couple is conjugality and it is on this ground that everyone will live the fraternity while singles are decisively structured by the experience of fraternity. There is a Eucharistic dimension in the life of a couple as in the life of a single person. It refers to the way Christ gave himself: This is my body, given for you. To give one’s body is to give one.
Chastity, a guarantee of profound freedom
There may be a way for single people to get their hands on someone who is not chaste, while there is a chaste way to make love, couples tell us. And we all know that there can be eroticized relationships between a man and a woman that do not end in the sexual act but are not chaste!
Parents may have non-chaste relationships with their children. For chastity also consists in respecting their deepest freedom, in not constraining this freedom. To be chaste is not to want to model his children in his image and likeness, but to let them invent their existence themselves, while being present in love. Not to be chaste with one’s children is to believe that one is their origin.
Chastity is thus a reality that concerns all love. Chastity is a struggle but living a chaste relationship is always finding joy. Joy is the mark of a love lived in chastity. The enjoyment, the emotion, which does not turn into sadness, are the mark of a love lived in chastity.
Chastity refers to the inner disposition that leads one to regulate one’s sexuality liberally for oneself and for others. It is therefore rather of the order of a virtue. It is therefore not a question of denying the sexual reality but of regulating the impulses that arise from it.
To become chaste is not to try to avoid sexuality, but to try to assume it well; this, whatever the state of life in which we are and whatever the human balance that we managed to achieve. In addition, the aim of regulating sexuality is an eminently positive goal: greater freedom. The effort to become chaste is therefore an effort that seeks to use sexuality to become more man or woman, in a word to increase the relational power that is ours. As such, we can speak of the chastity of Jesus, whose relational power is manifest. Or to say that with other words, found on the website of the Conference of Bishops: It consists in accepting your own sexuality to make it a way of meeting another welcomed in his richness and his difference and received as a gift, without possessing or enslaving him. The entire baptized are called there. An important point is to mention: chastity is not only a spiritual or religious issue, even if in this context it will take on more meaning.
Therefore the question asked – is rather relative to continence, because chastity is an evangelical council that is addressed to every disciple of Christ, regardless of his state of life: single, consecrated, and married or in the process of being concubine
Most often, chastity is reduced to a moral rule formulated in terms of forbidden. Now, as per the Male chastity guide chastityis the meeting of the other, and a little further, the sign of the true relation with God is the true relation with the others.
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